I dont know how to start this blog,but this is something that has been on my heart and God has really been taking me through a journey of trusting him..trusting him fully,in every area.This all started a little over 9 weeks ago,when an amazing,respectful young man from our church died very suddenly in a work related accident.He played softball with my husband,was an usher at our church and a very loved and respected young man.only 23..23 years on this earth.i will nevr forget hearing the news he died.it was so sudden.so shocking.so petrifying.at the moment we were on our way to greenville to meet some friends and the only thing i wanted to do was rush home ,grab my son and my husband and hold them on either side of me and NEVER let them go.the next couple days were heart wrenching.i could not get the family our of my mind.i couldnt stop thinkin about his mother,the pain she was feeling,i kept thinkin about my relationship with my son,from the moment i knew he was in my womb we had such a special bond,to have that bond just torn away,without any warning.i thought about his mother so much,i could almost feel her pain,although i knew there was noo way my pain was even remotely close to hers.it was that moment,that mentally i did what i wanted to do physically.i "took"my son and my husband in my hands and i closed them.over the next couple weeks every night i would pray ,i would cry out to God,"dont take them Lord,i cant go through what that family is going through,dont Lord,DONT take them"and with closed fists i would say "amen" i prayed this prayer over and over again.the fear of loosing them was robbing me of every day i had with them.until about 3 weeks ago.i went to mops ,it was our first mops since we let out in the spring,and i didnt expect to hear what i heard.one of our mentors,she may be the best female speaker i have ever heard,was sharing,i was excited to hear what she had to share but thought it would be on what to expect at mops this year,instead God spoke so many words through her that went straight to my heart...heres the story she shared,the way i remember.... "when my daughter was little she was playin out back ,and we were out in the front yard,when we heard her scream,a scream we knew soemthing was wrong,we ran to the back yard and picked her up and she said a snake ran across her foot,sure enough there was a black snake slithering up the yard.and as i watched it i heard the enemy say "see!i can get to her whenever i want!"a couple weeks ago i was reminded of this when i saw this hawk out on our playground out back,he was tearing somthing apart,just shredding it to pieces,so i got my binoculars and looked and it was a black snake...imediately i told the enemy "see!!no you cant!!"" and then she said the most beautiful words,in the most passionate tone and with tears in her eyes she said "you see ladies,i trust the Lord with my children"the way she said it,the way her eyes were so peaceful when she said it,i got tears,i wanted that.i came home that night and as i was praying with my son that evening,i told the Lord,"ok God im opening my hands,here they are,take my husband and my children and do whatever you want with them Lord, i am trusting you with them fully.i will open my hands every day Lord.help me!"the next couple days i prayed the same prayer,over and over,i had to remind myself,he is trustworthy,i can trust him! 3 days later,my friend steph and her daughter came over to play ,the kids were playing outside and asher decided he wanted a swing ride.we bought him a swing that is likea bucket with holes to put his feet in,thats kinda how it looks,not the normal baby swing.we have a concrete porch abotu 2 feet off the ground,the swing hangs down right over the edge of the porch,we push him out of the porch and he swings back in,get the picture?so i put him in and was swinging him as high as he could go,(by the way i also a week away from having a baby,)right when i pushed him out of the porch,the one string completely ripped out of the ceiling and all i saw was asher hangin there,his head coming straight for the edge of the concrete porch,i couldnt stop the swing by grabbing it cause if i did he would have jerked out of it,i had to be able to grab him and i couldnt do that until he swung in to me,theres no explanation as to how he didnt fall out,or how his little head didnt smash into the concrete,but i screamed and grabbed him,he was crying simply because i screamed,and i held him so tight and cried so hard and imediately i heard the enemy scream "see what He does when you give your kids to Him??!"my friends left soon after the incident and i came inside and was feeding asher lunch and as i watched him i heard the Lord speak so softly to my heart,"do you see what I did?there was no way that you could have protected him from what was going to happen,but i could!you can always trust me that i know best!" i sat there in tears,how i cried."Lord forgive my unbeleif!" i dont know why bad things happen,i dont know why God chose to take that dear womens son away from her at so young of an age,but i know ..i KNOW that my savior has His hand in EVERY situation,and i KNOW that i can trust Him with the things most precious to me.because no matter what,good or bad, God is still God and God is still good!!! thank You JEsus!!!

I cant beleive how logn its been since i last blogged!the summer has been absolutely crazy.ball tournaments,my parents house sale,weekends here weekends there,family coming,vacation in florida,getting ready for baby..and so much more! we jsut got back from vacation with Matts family in florida.we had a wonderful time despite me being 34 weeks pregnant!:)it was a relaxing adn fun week but i was very ready to come home and get to nesting.c-section is scheduled for sept. 18th which is 3 weeks away and i cant beleive how fast its coming up.on the way home from our vacation,my mom called me and said shes coming down in 3 days to help me do my canning!SURPRISE!i love love love these kind of surprises.we got soo much done the past 3 days and i feel more ready then ever to have this baby!asher loves his mimi so very much and LOVES when she is here!we took her to the airport tonight and about 15 minutes after we dropped her off he said"momma,where mimi??" he looked very confused.:)but she is coming back 2 days before the c-section and is staying for 10 days!!i cant wait! a little about Asher-this stage is so far the besy yet,although every stage he is in i say that.it just keeps getting better.but right now,he is soooo much fun!he talks so much and can pertty much tell us what he wants,we dont always understand so we play the guessign game,he gets very frustrated when we dont guess right,but once we figure out what he wants,he smiles really big,nods his head dramatically and says "YESSSS!!!"its possibly the cutest thing ever:)he has a mouthful of teeth!i keep thinkin hes teething,cause he loves to have his hands in his mouth and then he drools,but i have no idea where another tooth would fit:)he is so active,and loves all the boyish things that his daddy loves.his daddy is yb far his hero,and im not jsut saying that,he really really is!right now his favorite things are,cars,trucks and choo choo's.my sister karen sent him a box last week with a truck that had a trailer that has two levels that you can make one level,each leves has 2 cars on it,he loves this toy,and plays with it all day everyday.at night,i put all his toys away except for taht truck,i set that up by the fire place,all nice like,and every morning he wakes up,walks out in the living room and acts like he is soo surprised and ticked to see it:)he has the craziest exspressions.i dont think ive ever seen a kid with so many exspressions,right now he has this thing of openening his mouth as wide as he can(a surprised look)and then he covers his mouth with his hand and smiles.i really need to get a picture of it cause it is just so darn cute!he loves to play with shoes and hats,and usually he finds one of his daddys shoes adn wears it around the house,along with a hat.he loves to play outside like this.matt can never find his one shoe:)he loves to skype his aunts and mimi,and know exactly what the sound of skyping is and always runs to me and scurries up on my lap.right now his favorite thing is when we skype my sister karen(who he calles "tee-tee" cause we call her kiki)she has 3 girls that love to run around and do flips,and karen will put the camera on the so he can watch,anytime she turns the camera back to her he gets upset,he jsut wants to watch his cousins:)its actualy a great babysiter:)we bought him a fish about a month or 2 ago and he thinks the world of his "ishy"fora long time he insisted on saying "nightnight"to fishy and giving the fish bowl "knuckles"which is something he does with his daddy all the time:)everynight,before he goes to sleep we pray together,we hold hands and i will pray,a few nights ago for the first time after we said "amen" he looked at me and said"mimi,papa"so we had to pray for mimi and papa too:)love seeing my boy growing up and becoming so smart.we have a candy jar in the kitchen that usualy has m&m's in it or candy corn,anytime i give him some i only give him 2 peices,so he started going to the candy jar and saying "two?two?" or he will reach up to the jar and ill say"how many asher?"and he will hold up his one finger(he hasnt figured otu how to do 2:))and say"two?":)today matt took him to his cousins football game and when they got home asher kept saying "touchdown".everytime he says a new word,or repeats something i say,it jsut shocks me,i cant beleive my son is at that age already!!he is so very friendly,for the most part,sometimes he jsut acts really shy but most times,whenever we leave somewhere,a restaraunt or whatever,he will go to all the people around hime,wave and say "bye.bye" and just recently he also started going saying "hi" whenever someone comes up to him.but of course,whever its a time we want him to say it,he wont.has to be on his terms:)just this week he started telling me when he has to poop.at first i thought he was just playing but then i realized,he will grab his butt and say poo,and then start pushing.which meens its time to potty train.i have played with the idea of training him before the baby,and originally had planned to but when our family vacation got pushed forward two weeks due to a death in our church,and i had been planning on training him AFTER vacation,i kinda decided to wait till after baby.im afraid ill train him and after baby he'l relapse since its so close to the due date now.so ive decided to wait.but as soon as im feeling re-covered i want to get on it,if hes telling me he has to poop,im pretty sure hes ready.:)and who knows,sometimes i do spur the moment things,maybe i will train him next week:)im so eager to see asher as a big brother!i cant wait to see the him helping me with the baby and eventualy the two of them interacting.im really curious as to how he will respond to another child around the house.i am so so so excited to have two.as is matt-it made me so happy when the other day he said hes so excited abotu having two..we really havent talked about our excitement abotu the baby to much just cause were so busy with life:)but i wanted to journal about where ashers at in life so i dont forget this fun stage:) knowing me,the nxt time i blog i will have two:)so until then....

i absolutely love mornings with my son.he is soo wirey in the mornings.does not stop talking and smiles at anything and everything.its really kinda turned me into a morning person.never thought the day would come!:)his hair is always sticking straight up or out or any which way,and thats how he prefers it,i am not aloud to take wet fingerd through his hair to make it look better.:)he loves to get up,get a bowl of dry cereal and sit and watch his cedarmont kids video.i call that his devotional time:)

he is teething pretty bad right now and during the day if hes not being entertained he gets pretty crabby so yesterday i did allot of sitting on the floor and playing with him which made him incredibly happy.but it made me think so much how its gana be when i have 2!how in the world do u make time for both of them when newborns are so needy and with breastfeeding it feels like your always attached.im sure every mom figures this out on her own and i look forward to it,i just hope my son adjusts well to it:)i have an ultra sound today im 19 weeks and the dr informed me today i could find out what the sex of the baby is.as much as i would love to know i know if id find out id be disapointed that i know:) that was one of the most exciteing things about going to the hospital to have asher was not knowing what we were having alghouth we did think it was a boy.so this childs gender will remain unknown:)i am praying my c section with this child goes better then with the first.i had a terrible experience with the first and a part of me feels it all could have been avoided had i not agreed to them putting me on pit. but its in the past and there is nothing i can do to change it now.i desperately wanted to have a vbac btu after talking with my drs this timeand them telling me id have to switch hospitals and go to one thats about an hour away and even then it wasnt guarenteed that id have a vbac we decided c-section with my same dr is what were gana do.and now that weve set that up im kind of excited about it.with my family living 10 hours away it makes it allot easier to plan.mom is going to come downa day or 2 before the baby comes and then when were in the hospital she can stay home with asher so he dont have to be going here and there.i think it really will be nice.but like i said im hopeing this c-section goes allot better then the first.apparently I had an allergic reaction to the anestesthesia and it just totaly knowcked me out.there is very little that i actualy remember about ashers birth.butt matt remembers it and everytime we talk abotu it i think he tells me something that i didnt know:)thank God for my husband being in there with me!were still working on picking on names.we have girls name that we love! but we havent talked much about boys names.ashers name came to us from the Lord and we KNEW beyond a shaddow of a doubt that asher was saposed to be his name.this child we havent heard that yet,so speak Lord!:) im slowly but surely feeling the baby move.this child isnt as active as asher was at this stage.but every now and then i feel it.that is proabbly my faveorite part about being pregers.i love when the baby starts moving that you can actualy see my belly rolling.its amazing when i think about how a child is formed in my belly!and what a bond you have with your children.yesterday i was thinkin abotu jsut how much time i spend with my son.it is pretty much every hour of every day except for when he sleeps.yesterday it was taken to the extreme.we were together alll day and then he showered with me,played by my feet as i got dressed and played by my feet as i washed dishes:)talk about attched at the hip! being a mom has made me think allot abotu my erlationship with my mom,how special it is,to me its just cause shes my mom,but she has soo much time and energy invested in me.its so weird to think about her carryin me in her belly for 9 months.doesnt seem real. this blog has to cme to an end cause suddenly my happy mornign boy turned into a whining screaming child.he dont like when im on the computer i guess.so goodbye for now.

the house that built me....

well easter has come and gone,another week in pa has come and gone.asher and i got back from pa a week ago after a relaxing fun yet bittersweet time in pa,bittersweet because my parents are selling there home...a very hard thing for me to even voice:(i have always been very sentimental ..and when it comes to "home"..the place i grew up and have all of my favorite memories stored at,i am very sentimental.last week wen we were there,we cleaned out the attic,found old toys and books that brought back even more memories.just the idea of this not being my home anymore made me think about everything that i appreciated most about the place...the big pond that we spent hours swimming in when we were little,then went through a stage where the pond was "gross" .Then when we all had kids,the pond was once again a favorite for all of us!When i worked at dienners in the summer,i would come home sweating and smelling of food,i used to jump in the pond,swim across it a couple times,fully dressed,just cause i felt like it.Yes there was some skinny dipping in the pond to of course.:)some in broad day light!The raft was always a hit,many many sundays youth kids would come over and go out on the raft and someone always got thrown in!

Mom asher and i walked around the pond one night last week,and i was telling mom how as a kid i spent hours playing outside,using my imagination,i still remember my imaginary friends names:),theres a tree on the far end of the pond that i hammered a short peice of wood on and would pull my golf cart up to the tree and pretend i was "filling my car up with gas".All my pets,my goat,the sheep,my horse, used the out around the pond grass as there meadow.Me and cookie,my pet goat as a kid,would walk around the pond..cookie would follow me from one end to the other.If i went up on the high dive,cookie went with me.I used to love riding my horse up the steep hill on the far side of the pond and pretend like i was the man from snowy river:)riding up and down steep hills.until one time the saddle came loose when i was galloping up the hill and i had a pretty bad concussion,my neighbor actualy took me inside,which i have yet to remember.:)He just told me about it later.

Theres a bench on the far side of the pond to, that i think all us kids took our dates out to at night,it was sooo romantic,the moon would reflect off the pond and noone could see you since the house was on the other side.ahh,takes my breath away thinking about it:)

The high dive was another place we loved to go at night. I have so many memories of me and my friends up there my best friend in grade school,marlene sensinig,and i would go up there to trade stickers,as i got older,my friends and i would go up tehre late at night and talk until mom would shine a flash light out at us and tell us to come in:)i remember a icture of raym and jo when they were dating ,sittnig on the high dive.Raym and Allen used to do crazy stunts off the high dive ,flips hand stands and whatever else they could think of.

Then theres the roof of the shed that i used to play on,that was my house.i even took a bunch of rocks up there and made a "campfire",never lit of course.

The shuffleboard out back that mom and dad had weekly shuffle board parties at,i always looked forward to that.The old folks that came were so much fun to watch,it was like movies for me(which is something i didnt get to watch much of growing up)

In the pavillion up in the rafters is a tiny little spot that us kids would crawl up in,im sure there is stil blankets and who knows what else up there.One sunday somehow the ladder fell and i was stuck up there with a friend Kayla i think:).My brothers kind friend came out side after a while and we screamed untill he came and put the ladder back up.The pavillion was also the place where anytime it rained adn we were having out side parties,we all ran under there.I have a video of me and a bunch of my friends(i dont even remember this!and i was like 16 i think)playing guitar and singing country songs in the pavillion while it was raining,we were packed in there.I always liked to invite everybody and there brother to my house:)

In the winter time when the pond would freeze over, ice skating was a hit!we havent done that for a couple years cause it hasnt frozen over that well.But when my brother and sister were in the youth group the guys used to come over and play hockey on the ice.We had skating parties for the youth group.One day i was out ice skating and i was tryin to do fun twirls and stuff like the profesional skaters did,and i fell and hit my head so hard the ice cracked a little.I remember screaming for mom to come get me,she finaly heard me and helped me inside,i then gave up my dreams of becoming a skater:).

Mommy(grandma.) always lived out above the barn,she was always around,except for in the winter time of course when she went to florida.But i always loved in the summer time when we'd be out playing and she would bring out her famous meadow tea.I used to go up to her house and we'd sit and talk or i'd count her pennies.But she was always around.She still is. Now she lives in with mom and dad and as of now, at the new house, thats where she'l be also:) So at least something wont change:).

The garden,the beautiful garden that mom and dad slaved over every summer,was my favorite imaginary spot.I loved playing in the garden after school,i'd pretend it was the secret garden,or my high school that i was in (yes at the age of 10:)) or my mansion that i lived in.

And then the gazebo where i would have my pretend wedding, or used as my kitchen area.

The front yard at mom and dads is pretty big,when i was in school i had to walk across the front yard everyday since i got dropped off down the road from the bus.Dad used to play ball with the kids out front sunday afternoons,i rode my horse out there,we played volleyball, wiffle ball,bocce ball,you name it.Allen used to ride his forwheeler across the front yard and do a wheely the whole way across just to show off to the people driving by:) I always loved our front yard.I remember one summer i went through a phaze on sunday afternooons id take a lawnchair out front and sit there for hours just watching people go by and talkin on the phone(this was before i had my license of course.)

the screened in porch was another place we hung out allot.We would eat sunday lunch out there in the summer.When we were kids we would have sleepovers out there.The was a sky window and me and a friend were out there in out sleeping bags one night when someone popped in the sky window .scared us half to death ,here it was karen with her hair flipped up over her face:)Matt and i had a few dates out there as well.it has the most beautiful veiw over looking the pond:)

I think all the memories that i have of being outside our house was why it was sooo important for me to get married there. When matt and i had started dating mom and dad were thinking about selling then,they sat me down one night and expressed possibly putting it up for sale,i cried.yes i was 19:)I beged them to wait until Matt and I either broke up or got married since at that point we had JUST started dating and i didnt know where our relationship was going.They agreed ,but mom said,"ok if yal break up,were not waiting on the next guy,were selling.:)"Well they waited and 2 years later we had a BEAUTIFUL reception held out back at my parents.We took our pictures there that morning.My wedding was so special for so many reasons but one thing i will always cherish is those pictures my photographer took of little details at mom and dads.

I think that since ive been married my memories there are even sweeter.Probably because i knew selling time was coming and i wanted to drink in as much of the place as possible. Last summer,mom and i went ouside every evening i was there after dinner,mom would swing with Asher on the swing under the windmill until he would fall asleep.:)Poppy has taken asher on many golfcart rides and Easter egg hunts were always a blast cause there were soooo many places to hide the eggs.Last summer or mom and dad got a peddle boat:)It has been a hit in the summer.The first time asher and i went up after they got it,i took him out on a ride:)

Now all 5 of us kids are married and have kids of our own.Most of the our kids wont remember mom and dads house,or the fun times we had there,but i know that in 20 years when we go up to pa with our family and drive by that house i will tell me kids thats where i grew up.Hopefuly the place will look somewhat the same:)Im so scared that someone is gana buy the place and turn it upside down.:( I am so extrememly happy for mom and dad to move into a smaller house that requires much less work,much less taxes and doesnt tie them down so much.And i know there new house will be cute and we'l build new memories there.but this place,will always be,"the house that built me"

God is good ,all the time. no matter WHAT happens,God is STILL God and God is STILL good!! we got the best results back from my mom!turns out she had another stone and they did surgery and removed it and she is finally after a very long time feeling good again.i cannot tell you how releived we all were when we heard this news!

i dont know if i wrote this last time or not,btu at 15 months asher is finally and officailly WALKIN!matt and i were beyond excited when we could actualy say this.matt especially,he is so eager adn cannot wait to do things with him as a toddler.and slowly but surely those things are happening.they love to throw a ball around!matt tried to show asher how to hit a ball the other night,but hes not qutie there yet.asher loves to be outside and wait for matt when he comes home from work,and since this march has felt like summer,weve been able to that almost every evening.but ashers favorite,is when we walk to the end of the lane,he can see matt coming down the road(beleive me,he know daddys work van from pretty far away to!)and then when daddy does pull in the lane,asher sits on hsi lap and "drives" the van in:) if we dont meet him at the end of the lane matt still lets him sit in the van and "drive" for a while.he is never ready to come in after that...
this post is getting cut short cause he is jsut waking up from his nap..so ill be back again soon:)

i havent blogged in forever.everytime i come on ehre i think im gaa do better and i never do...i try to write down little things that goes on in ashers life so i dont forget when thoswe big moments were..but i started this blog hopeing i would write about how i felt and what his expressions were...oh well hopefuly one day ill get better at this...
today im not writting about asher.
today im struggleing.i thought maybe writting about it would help me in some way..so here it goes..
my mom has been having allot of health issues over the past year.she had surgery nearly a year ago to remove a gullstone that was the largest the dr had ever seen and since then..things have just gotten worse...a couple months ago she started having these "attacks" she would get terrible pain in her stomach and couldnt do anything. abotu a month ago,i was in pa for a week and mom went to the dr.they felt a lump in her stomach.i left for home the next day.and waited for a few days to hear any results..finally we heard the dr thought it was a hernea..but said that is not the reason for her pain...he then thought maybe the pain was from another stone.so tehy did blood work and were scheduling to doa colonoskopy(since she had never gotten one done) well yesterday morning i called mom,she was flying to florida that evening and we were planning to leave today to meet her there for a wedding down there this weekend..i was all kinds of excited:),so i called her and right away could telll something wasnt right in her voice.she said she had been up all night havnig such bad stomach pain,i asked her if it was like her attacks and she said no she also said it didnt feel like a belly ache either.so i hung up,told ehr to get some rest and really didnt think much else about it.ive been a little naeve abt my moms sickness since it started,i guess i can be,living this far away i dont see her every day or every week,i jsut hear her voice and if i know my momma, she has surgar coated everything she has been feeling to protect me from freaking out and being so far away.about an horu later my sister called me and asked if i talked to mom i said yea,she said something isnt right.me and my naevness again thought..im sure its fine.around lunch time mom called me and said shes not going ot florida,i asked her why and she said shes goin to the dr.he had just called with her blood test results and he didnt like what he seen adn after hearing she had been having such bad pain told her to go to the hospital.so when mom called,my sisters were on there way to her house and they were goin to take her in.i was just about to hang up with mom when i seen my sister rosa was calling.so i hung up and answered rosas call,i didnt want to let mom hear me cry cause i knew she was probably already worried about me,btu my sister wasnt gfana hear any strength in this voice.i answered the phone balling.she comforted me by telling me she was gana call me with any news they got.bless my dads heart.he was so worried.my sister in law called me and said she had to cry cause my brother was crying cause he had talked to dad who was crying.so i started cryin:)i was so thankful a friend of mine was here all day yesterday,other wise i would have probably sobbed all day long.anyways,the dr came in last evening and said 2 possibilities are a stone in the bile duct or an ulcer...they scheduled an mri that has gotten moved twice now and is now scheduled for 2 today.so we wait...meanwhile matt asher and i are leaving for florida in and hour or 2.im hopeing that will help take my mind off things for a bit.last night i dont know taht my husband has ever seen me so quite.but he was great,before i went to bed we curled up on the recliner and he just listened to me cry and express my feelings.the whole prego thing has made me a tad more emotional then usual:)i so want to be there with my family.i told him last night i feel like i would feel so much better if i was tehre although im sure i wouldnt.ive been skyping mom in the hospital,calling or texting my sisters every couple hours,although yersterday it was every hour on the hour:).i need to pack for florida but all i have been doing is sitting here on the couch thinkin about my family.i so badly want to hug my dad.i feel so sorry for him.i know how he worries adn im sure he is about beside himself right now.i know my mom is well taken care of,she has allot of friends visiting her today and hopefuly that will help her day go by fast.i wish so bad i could surprise her and walk in that room.i need to stop wishing.so im hopeing that the news we hear today will be good news,cause i dont know if i can handle any more uncertainty.this whole experience has brought so many emotions,i have thought and prayed so many times,God i need my mom! im the baby of the family,and it shows cause anytime im sick or i hurt myself or something funny happens or i do something clumsy ...i call my mom,shes the first person i think to tell those things to.the other morning i threw up cause of pregnancy,and i meen the minute i was done i called mom(of course i texted my husband first:)).its funny really.but shes....well...my mom.i love her more then any other women on this earth.and i cannot imagine what my lief would be like without her..i know ..we dont live in the same state.i dont SEE her everyday,but she is in my heart. this song,has touched me since the first time i heard it and it so reminds me of my mom...
"Like My Mother Does"


[Verse 1]
People always say
I have a laugh
Like my mother does
Guess that makes sense
She taught me how to smile
When things get rough

I've got her spirit
She's always got my back
When I look at her
I think, I want to be just like that

[Chorus]
When I love I give it all I've got
Like my mother does
When I'm scared, I bow my head and pray
Like my mother does

When I feel weak and unpretty
I know I'm beautiful and strong
Because I see myself like my mother does

[Verse 2]
I never met a stranger
I can talk to anyone
Like my mother does
I let my temper fly
And she can walk away
When she's had enough

She sees everybody
For who they really are
I'm so thankful for her guidance
She helped me get this far

[Chorus]
When I love I give it all I've got
Like my mother does
When I'm scared, I bow my head and pray
Like my mother does

When I feel weak and unpretty
I know I'm beautiful and strong
Because
I see myself like my mother does

[Bridge]
She's a rock
She is grace
She's an angel
She's my heart and soul
She does it all

[Chorus]
When I love I give it all I've got
Like my mother does
When I'm scared, I bow my head and pray
Like my mother does

When I'm weak and unpretty
I know I'm beautiful and strong
Because
I see myself like my mother does
Like my mother does

I hear people saying
I'm starting to look like my mother does

so i know i never write on ehre anymore but i wanted to journal a bit..this might be boring to some of you im putting it on here cause its somethign i want to remember...
my baby boy is growing like a weed!!!today he took a few steps,more then once.i think he will be walking in the next couple week which i cant wait for!!tonight he was a clown at the supper table..first off we had a delicious supper adn i was going off to matt at how good a job i did on our supper and i patted myself on the back,asher who was observing my every move then patted himself on the back,course his little hand couldnt quite reach his back so he was patting his shoulder,but to make sure thats what he was tryin to do i did it again and he then did it again too then he laughed:)then he was reaching for me,so matt scooted ashers chair closer to mine,and asher patted me on the back..we were laughing to hard!when he does stuff like this i find it so hard to beleive that he knows what hes doing cause in my mind hes still that tiny little baby i just had,but he really does know.hes a smart kid:)he started saying thank you!!!whenever he gives us something and we say thank you,he repeats it back to us!:)its crazy halarious!he also says "oh boy" hes been saying that,he often says it wen hes playing with his toys,its the cutest thing...another thing he does is when hes watching his cedarmont kids video and they sing the song"im in the lords army,YES SIR" the kids in the video shout "yes sir" and asher should its back.you cant really tell what hes sayin but everytime they say yes sir he shouts back at the tv:)i love it! well thats all for now.
were sooo enjoying this stage of his life and know its only going to get more fun!:)