we had a pretty rough week last week-asher had a bad cold and a cough,and then i got the same thing which to find out mine ws allergies:( matt has been coaching little league and last week of all weeks they had a tournament which meens he was gone 3 of the 4 nights that i was feeling miserable and the 4th night we had to clean a house(he went with me cause i was so miserable and it had to be done)friday morning i went to matts aunts house to go with her to a party,i walked in,asher was screaming,and i just broke down and cried..(for the 2nd time that morning) y sweet aunt,who is a lady i just adore,gave me a hug and prayed healing over asher and told me it was gana be ok..last week was a week i needed my mom.monday was the first of us both being sick and all day i just wanted to sleep but asher was real fussy(hes teething on top of that)matt came home for about a half hour and then left to go coach,everytime he left this week i think i got tears...my dear sweet parent in laws came over that evening to visit with me,im sure they have no idea what that menat/did for me!matts mom put asher to sleep for me and i just sat there for the first all day not worried about him and not holding him..it meant soo much to me that they stopped in while matt was gone.asher is now feeling much better..stilla a little stuffy and still not back to his normal sleeping through the night:( which i pray for every evening cause i have been loosing allot of sleep throughout the night which i make up for in the mornings but then i have no energy wen i do crawl out of bed at 10-11 am:(saturday i started gettins sinus headaches-i have never evr had such bad headaches...sunday i stayed home from church cause i had one and then another one later that morning.i wasw really worried that something was seriously worried till i googled sinus headaches and realized thats what it was...i did a ferw things that they recomended and havent had one since ..thank the Lord!
today im feeling alolto better..im stil very stuffed and i cough allot whenever i laugh or get a little worked up-but im pretty sure thats from all the nasty pollen(which our blue truck looks yellow..no lie!)last week felt like such a serious,emotional week which i dont do well with to much seriousness:)so i was excited to get this week started off knowing i had allot of stuff goin that would get me out of the house(which i need to do more of)..but this morning started off the same as every morning last week-i didnt fall asleep til sometime after 1 last night(no clue why) asher was up at 5 and again at 7 and from 7-8 didnt do much sleeping finaly at 8 i got up til 9 and we both went back to bed til 1030:)so agian-no energy,on top of that i got a call about a job i did,and she very nicely asked me to come and go over some things(another words,i didnt do a good enough job) i do not do well with this kind of stuff,i felt beyond terrible about it,i even cried to my mom cause i felt so awful,and i was soo hard on myself.i dont know why im like this,but any time i have any kind of conflict against me i take it soo hard.maybe i care what ppl think to much,i dont know but i just wanted to lay on the couch for the rest of the day and feel miserable..i talked ot my mom about it who told me i cant be so hard on myself..and i realized she was right,so i cleaned a part of my house:)which got interupted cause asher does not want to take long naps:(he sleeps half hourto 45 minutes-if im lucky an hour..normally he takes 2 hour naps:(PLUS hes not sleeping at night-LORD HELP ME!
wow ths post seems like alot of complaining...and i didnt meen for it to come out like that...i wanted to write about this so someday i can read back over it and be so thankful for health and good times with my family.so please dont be mistaken i still love being a momma as much as i ever did!we just had a rough week:)

a few sweet pics from the weekend...
asher and his cousin dakota-2 weeks apart.

those little feet..

watchin the masters with his daddy...

my poor baby boy is sick-hes had a cold for a while now and it wasnt to bad but friday night he started coughin a little,saturday we went to a ball tourny an hou and a half away and it was kinda windy all day-i tried to keep him wel covered but i dont think it did much for his cough-yesterday he was pretty much the same as satrday-not awful but def not well.then last night his cough seemed to get worse,i was up every hour with him...on top of all this i havent been feelin to well since friday either..ive had stomach aches-not consistent ,they come and go but come and go allot.its been better today though.asher has been pretty miserable today-i feel so sorry for him-hes been pretty much clinging to me all day-so my messy house has been put on hold until hes beter.his voice is soo soft cause i think he has a sore throat as well-wen he cries,its so quite that i barely hear him:(ive been praying over him all day-and im hoping that tomorow he feels much better...
and then 430 rolled around and at this point im about to cry cause its ust beena rough day for both of us,my husband runs in the house,grabs a bite to eat and is back out the dorr in about 15 minutes to go coach little league tonight..not perfect timing at all:(so after he left i sat there with asher and we both just cried a little bit...good medicine for me.i told my husband since ive been taking care of him alone the since last night,wen he comes home tonight he has to go out and buy me some wine coolers cause i deserve it...:)
i have a cleaning job tomorow so my sis in law has asher and she says shes up for it,so im praying hard that hes a bit better tomorow..
im gana go try and take a shower now...hopefully he sleeps long enough that i can:)

this little man...the sunshine of my life..
being a mommy is sucha huge blessing..i love staying at home with my baby-other then cleaning,laundrey and dishes i dont have that mucht o do during the day which meens i have time to just lay on the floor and talk to him,or sit out on our porch and watch him look around,or let him play in his bath tub every morning for a while,or rock him until he falls asleep...im so thankful how aware i am that these are the big moments in life..and Lord willing im gana have 3 or 4 more ,so this time,right now,i wont EVER get again...just me and my baby....and then wen the 2nd and 3rd one comes..it will be that way again,but my goal in life right now is to enjoy the moment,the right now.
parenting with my husband is the best.i was scared for a long time that once we become parents,everything between us would change,and not in a good way..it HAS changed,but in the best way possible..i dont think marriage has ever been better then it is right now...we love to have fun,and asher has jumped right on board with that.he doesnt keep us from havinga good time.were so sarcastic..for a while i didnt take his sarcasm to well..but wen i figured it out,and realized what fun we could have with it,its one of the things i love most about him:)everytime i see him talkin to uor son,llaughing with him,talkin baby talk with him.i light up..thres nothing sexier then seeing ur husband as a father.and i am eternally gratefull that the Lord has allowed us to be parents together.i know not all couples are able to have children and after seeing my sister go through a few years of thinkin they wouldnt be able to concieve(whcih ppraise the Lord ,after thsoe few years they now have 2 kids of tehre own and 1 addopted)i realized it is truely a blessing and an honore to be able to have children.
i love our evenings right now..matt comes home from work-hangs out with asher till dinner is ready.asher sits in his bouncer as matt and i eat and he either fusses to us or just sits there and watches:)-so perfectly content(most the time:))after dinner,we change it up but latelyi take a shower while matt gets asher ready for bed and give him his cereal bottle,then the 3 of us watch some tv while i try to get asher to sleep,we put him down between 730 and 830 and after that matt and i snuggle on the couch and watch our shows on tv..thats our time together-it works for us..we sit there and talk about our shows:)make each other laugh..we love that time..over the summer it dont happen as much cause matt has ballgames but we always come home from a game and then if the braves are on ,we watch that game yet too:)its so fun to see how much our marriage has grown over the past year and a half... i so beleive when people say "it keeps getting better"cuz so far it has:)
well thats all for me for today-this post has been pretty random-but thats how i roll:)

North Carolina is so beautiful this time of the year...spring sure is springing:)i love having my windows open on days like todaybut around 3:00 i have to shut them all and turn the air on-or else my husband will complain a bit:)its been a while since i wrote on here and everytime i do write i say that im gana get better at it:)
a little over a week ago i went to pa to spend the week with my sister karen while her husband went to haiti..what a fun and special week-we had so many good laughs a few tears(over a very emotional tv show:)) and just allot of good times.aftera week of being in a diferect house with asher and not having my husband around i was so ready to come home..it was quite a trip. and i wrote about it on facebook but i wna put it on here so that i can always remember this special flight home:)
soo i made it home..let me tell you my story-its funny really..asher and i were on the plane in philly about to head home.it was 2:00pm.and i meen we were literally on the runway about to take off ..asher had just fallen into a deep sleep which i was grateful for cause i knew this meant he'd sleep the whole plane ride..suddenly the pilot announces.."our 2nd engine isnt running..we will be de-planeing."soo we all got off the plane..asher is now awake.in the airport theres a long line waiting to change there tickets..since i was holding my son and had no stroller or my sling(i put it in my suitcase cause i didnt think id use it.der!) i sat down and thought il just wait til the line goes down---lets just say it was moving VERY slowly..meen while asher poops..so i run to the bathroom to change him.i layed him down on his WHITE blanket and it was a big one..i had him all cleaned up and was about to put his pamper back on when dont u know..he started pooping again..in a panic i placed my hand under his bottom and cought the poop(didnt get any on the white blanket:))i grabbed some wipes and wiped my hand off. i look up at my dear son with an angry look and he gets this big smile on his face..which of course made me smile..i then proceeded to put his diaper and clothes back on..i go to wash my one hand while holding son in the other and dont you know, he throws up all over me...my responce was "REALLY SON!!" (not in a very friendly tone either) i look at my son who is once again smiling away.and once again i had to smile to. although what i really wanted to do was bawl my eyes out..who couldnt smile back at that..i get back to the enormous long line which hasnt moved since i entered the bathroom..so i sit back down(let me just say as i sat,my throwup and poop aroma filled the air)at that point a very kind lady closeto the front of the line offers to let me go in front of her while another lady who looked trust worthy offered to hold my son..(which at this point i was glad for considering my arms were very tired.although i kept a very close eye on her)i finaly got to the front,changed my ticket to 515.we went to our gate which was a pretty long distance from the restroom and all the shops/restaraunts etc(fail! cause as much as i was in the restroom our gate should have been located there) i got my excersize,running to the restroom for me,then again to change asher,then again to heat his bottle then again to get a drink and snack for me,then again to change asher again...you get it..i barely sat in those few hours.my plane was gana board in 10 minutes and i look at my son who has a mysterious spot on his shirt...so naturally i smell it and realize, that "spot" is poop! i run to a corner cause the bathroom was to far,at that point my plane started boarding,im panicing! i change ashers pamper,change his clothes ,am about to cry and i look at my son who of course is smiling again...at this point i realize he is really proud of himself for all the emptying out he has done in one day,which caused mom to panic which was very entertaining for him...all this made me laugh.bless hs heart..needless to say,i got on my plane,asher slept the entire way to charlotte but lets just say the minute i got off that plane he realized he was hungry n he threw a fit..it was quite a walk from my gate to baggage claim and he screamed..i meen really really screamed the entire way there..i tried to hold him with all my fingers showing so people could see that i really wasnt pinching him.i finally spotted my husband and with a smile on my face i handed him his son-dont u no imidiately he quits crying.my husband then points out "somthing stinks..is it you?" REALLY??YOU THINK??!! :) it was a good day-one for the books.and its soo good to be home!

that being said...on to new things...im writing about this next part..simply so i can rememeber this..my prayers,my feelings...
im sitting here at the desk and i have my arm resting on pile i meen what looks like a tiny mountain, of hospital bills...theyve been rolling in since we had asher..right when i thought i got the last one..i got apendisitis..and there coming in again...its been so overwhelming for me.and for matt...and today it is trying REALLY tryin to rob me of my joy and make me sob..(as i type tears are coming..hold em back ony hold em back) over the weekend ive heard 2 stories of friends of mine having miracluous moments of finances being taken care of...and today ive been crying out to God..please let it be our turn..i promised God this morning..that today im gana rest..so that he can work.and it seems as though the devil keeps shoving those bills in my face saying HOW ARE YOU GANA DO THIS??!!so ive had the most encouraging songs playing through out my house all day...and im clinging to every lyric of each song...
"when the waves have taken you under hold on just a little bit longer he knows that this is gana make you stronger."
"thank you for the cross and the life you gave.wonderful.powerful JESUS IS YOUR NAME hallelujah Jesus"
"And the arms that hold the universe Are holding you tonight. You can rest inside.
It's gonna be alright. And the voice that calmed the raging sea Is calling you His child .So be still and know He's in control. He will never let you go "
"i know your there,i know you hear me,i can find you anywhere"
"we all fall down. we all need saving once in a while. you are not alone.we all loose faith and lean on mercy. through our darkest night he said hed wait for us,just come to jesus"
..and many more.. and then i have my precious son...who this morning as i was praying and holding him i just asked God "your gana take care of this right??" i looked down at asher who was smiling so big at me..i got tears..i could see my fathers smile in that little boy..dont worry my child...ive got this.
so i sit here.focusing on how good my father is...how wonderful it is that i can cling to him..how peaceful of a rest i can have even when i feel as though i might be sinking in the middle of an oceon with no one around...cause my father can walk on the water...and with him i can to..THANK YOU LORD!
i am blesed..in so many ways.. so far God has always provided for us when we needed it..and i know he will continue to do so. i have wonderful friends.this thurs. is my birthday and tonight i have agirls night out and one of my dearest friends is paying for my evening.tomorow i have mops..which always is just what i need.wednesday i dont think im doing anything.thursday a bunch of ladies are goin to a friend of mines house for a lil bday party for me,friday another one of my best friends here is taking me out for lunch and were gana take our sons pictures...and somewhere along the ling my husband is taking me out..talk about being spoiled.im excited.
and thats all im gana write today...

today i am gettin ready for my best friend and her daughter to come to town:)she lives in pennsylvania and since i have been married she has not been down here-so u can understand my excitement..we have a special friendshipshes not only my best friend ,shes my cousin...so shes family-which most best friends feel like family anyways-but she acutqally is!:)we have soo many memories which also meens we have so many "inside jokes"which are the best..we laugh at the same things,we cry wen the other is having a hard time..we feel for each other,we know each other pretty well inside and out-most times we know what the other is thinking...and most of all..we know how ot have a good time:)we love to make each other laugh/..and once one of us has the other laughing..theres no stopping us..we keep em coming until were both in tears:)when i lived in pa-we ran together-running with her made me even more motivated(something i need now!!)and we alway pushed each other to keep going...when one of us reached our goal we showed out full support and excitement..wether or not the other one reached her goal.we both have kids now..so once again we have so much in common and can completely undestand what the other one is goin through-weve had our moments you know...being with someone soo much,you have those..but we were always honest with each other-and we always worked through it.time and time again she has been tehre for me,whatever im goin through-wether we talk about it or not,i know that shes always there,ready and waiting to be there for me,support me lift me up..whatever i need.thats why shes my best friend...looking back on all the fun and halarious memories we have...i will always smile..















....so yes i am exstatic about this weekend..to add to our memories pile..and now theres 2 more little ones to join us:)

excuse the looks of my site..i CANNOT figure out how to get the old background off(with the polka dots) anyone know how to do this???

hrei am-making another attempt to write on my blog-this time son is tucked in bed..although he will probably be up again soon for his next feeding..hes 3 months this week..i cant beleive how fast time has gone...and how much he is doing-at 5 weeks he gave us his first awake smile:) at 9 or 10 weeks he rolled over for the first time..hasnt done it since!:) at 11 weeks he gave his first giggle and just this week he started "talking" you know you say something then he does a little coo :)its so sweet..he still has not slept through the night-i am excited for that day although at the same time i dont mind too much getting up at night to feed him...as long as its not more then once or so ...he usually gets up aruond 3 am and everytime at some point during that feeding he looks up at me and just smiles..lately as he does it a a drip of milk falls down his cheek:) and at 3 am i cant help but smile back:)right now hes goin through a growth spurt ...which meens hes up allot more at night-which makes one verfy tired momma..but im hoping it ends soon!i cannot say how much i love being a momma..its crazy how much you can love a human being...overwhelming at times.
when asher was 2 months old i got apendicitis:(NOT cool!!i had been feeling pain since that morning(a wednesday) but thought it was from working out..as the day went on the pain got worse and that evening i told matt something isnt right...but still didnt think much of it..i went to bed at 11 that night in quite a bit of pain..had taken some ibuprfen..and slept for a few hours..asher got up at one and wen i woke up i could barely make it to his room...i went back to our bed woke matt up and ws in tears from the pain...we waited around a bit trying to decide what we were gana do...finaly matt called his broinlaw who used to be an emt and told him where i was feeling pain and what my level of pain was..he told us we need to go to the hospital so matts sister came at 2 am and picked asher up..matt got all his stuff packed as i sat there crying cause i was in too much pain to even feed him:(we got in to the hospital and they gave me pain meds which held me over till my surgery later that day..i ended up being in the hospital til friday evening..i hated being away form asher bt my dear sisinlaw took great care of him and brought him in to see me thursday evening..i couldnt hardly hold him cause i had just had surgery..but i got to kiss him a bit...my husband was home over the weekend so he took good care of me..as did my inlaws!!by monday i ws feeling pretty good..the recovery wasnt bad at all..but seriouslyl..2 surgerys in 2 months??REALLY!
homesickness has definately gotten worse for me since i had him...i feel it allot more..and i cry about it allot more...but its weird cause at the same time..i have never felt so fullfilled...i feel so fullfilled being a wife and a mother.asher and i are goin to pa next month for a week and i am extatic seein that my sisters and brothers have only seen asher once(wen we were up fora week right before christmas) he was only 3 weeks old...hes changed soo much since then..my mom and dad were down a few weeks ago but even since then hes changed..he smiles at anything right now..he "talks" and is so much more allert..im so excited to have my family see al this:)im sad to leave my hubby..but i know it wil be so good to go to pa for a bit...and im sure it wil feel allot diferent to come home now that we have a son..i think i wil probably be more ready theni normally am..simply because this is our home..i feel that now with having asher and raising him here this will seem more like home to me.

mu husband=one amazing father..my heart melts everytime i see him and my son together-i thought i loved my husband before we had a son but now my love for him feels so much deeper...he is such an incredible daddy-he loves gettin him to smile and will talk his baby talk to him until he gets one:)whenever he comes home from work asher and i go to the door to greet him and matt just gets this little sparkle in his eye wen he sees his little boy..melts my heart..its so special...i feel like our marriage has grown stronger just since we had him..the whole parenting thing kinda does that to youi think..and im sure as the years go on it will get harder stayin connected and all that..but "If God is for us who can be against us"
so yes we are LOVING this stage of life..my husband is quite excited about the next stage..when he can teach his little boy how to play ball and come home from work and take him out in the back yard and throw ball with him...yet still we are enjoying every stage..and excited to see what all Gods gana do in this amazing little mans life:)
well i think thats all im gana write for now ...ill leave you wiht an updated pictures of my baby
he loves his daddy

learning to sit in his bumbo seat

oh that smile..

after my appenidx was removed...i layed inbed allot..and he layed right there with me:)